What I Learned in Puerto Rico

1. You are never more than five minutes from a Burger King. Unless of course you are looking for Burger King. Then they mysteriously disappear.

2. People with cat allergies need not apply. Old San Juan is filled with felines.

3. That speed bump you just hit? Yeah, that was a giant lizard.

4. Proper driving skills are not necessary. Just get in your car and hope for the best.

5. And on second thought walking is often faster than driving. Probably safer too.

6. There really is no reason to call anyone in Puerto Rico. Phone calls go unanswered and messages unreturned.

7. Be everywhere five hours early. Better yet camp out the night before. Unexpected early closures are common.

8. Wear bug spray. All day long. Even when you sleep. If you wake up to go to the bathroom, put more on. There is no such thing as too much bug spray.

9. Drink rum. It’s cheaper and tastier than water.

10. Do I even have to tell you? Wear sunscreen people! I swear the moon can burn you by night, so wear it when you sleep!

A quick thank you to our excellent hosts Neal and Noyda at the Coqui Del Mar. Spacious lodging complete with a full kitchen for under $100/night in the Caribbean, yes people, it can be done!

Farewell Puerto Rico, you will be missed.